Chris Never Writes


The Other Brother

I had this idea for a story a while back where John and Hank Green had a third brother that nobody on the internet knew about because he was entirely non-noteworthy in comparison to his brothers and he just never really came up. 

There would be a scene where the Green family sits down for dinner and their parents ask them what’s new in their lives, and John’s like “Well they’re making an awesome movie out of my NYT best-selling book” and Hank goes “And I’m winning an Emmy for this awesome web series that I created” and then there’s this big pause and everyone looks at the other brother (let’s call him Dave Green).  Then Dave looks up from his food and says “Well, I just made third shift supervisor at Wendy’s,” and their parents do that thing parents do where they pretend to be really proud of you but it’s really incredibly patronizing.

I did not write this story because it sounds incredibly depressing.  I think being a third Green brother who wasn’t creative and talented and successful sounds like it would be pretty unbearable.

Also, this is the sort of thing that makes me kind of glad to be an only child.